UK’s best-selling author Terry Pratchett’s latest novel Unseen Academicals (2009) is a parody on the cultural phenomenon of European football (soccer) and everything that surrounds it. As such, it may be better understood and enjoyed by Europeans than Americans; in particular since football hooliganism, a distinctly UK phenomenon, plays a central role in the story.
But really, the book is about so much more than football (soccer) and makes for fabulous entertainment for anybody, American or British. It is also a book about fashion super models (and their association with football super stars); pies of every conceivable variety (and their association with football fans); as well as goblins and orcs (association to football unknown).
In typically characteristic Pratchett-fashion, everything on the Discworld mirrors things in our own world with a slight and hilarious twist. For example, a tail-gate market on the Discworld becomes a cart-tail market. And instead of cheerleaders, there are naiads dancing on the sidelines.
The book has many heroes, in particular a goblin-turned-orc by the name of Mr. Nutt. Because he’s one of only a handful of surviving orcs on the Discworld, two of the world’s most powerful leaders take him under their wings to help him save himself as well as his dying race.
It should be mentioned that these two enlightened world leaders, Lady Margolotta and Lord Vetinari have previously done the same to help werewolves, rock trolls, golems, and vampires become accepted members of society. Margolotta herself being one of the latter, or so rumor has it.
Mr. Nutt gets sent from Lady Margolotta’s Uberwald to Lord Vetinari’s Ankh-Morpork and assigned the task to accumulate ‘worth’ in human society. In doing so, Nutt gains many loyal friends and admirers in his workplace, the Unseen University. Co-worker Trev Likely goes to any length to defend his orc friend, and the head mistress of the Night Kitchen, Miss Glenda Sugarbean (creator of the crusty onion pie) becomes a staunch admirer, which later leads to a budding romance.
By impressing his superiors at Unseen University with his knowledge and knack for strategic thinking, Mr. Nutt eventually gets placed in charge of coaching the school’s new football team. And then one thing leads to another.
Unseen Academicals may be a parody on the phenomenon of European football (soccer), as well as a number of other things thrown in for good measure, but soccer fan or not, this book will give you many hours of joyous reading and barrels of laughs.
Mrs. Hellman resides in North Carolina with her husband and their three boys. A copywriter by profession, she writes book reviews as a hobby. Visit the website named after The Light Fantastic by Terry Pratchett, where you can order Unseen Academicals or any of the other 36 novels in Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series.






























